Hairsplitting Weapon table

Every time my players go to buy weapons, I drag out the equipment list and they spend half an hour deciding which of the 10 weapons and armors that exist in the world they want to use. I've always wanted to recreate the fantastic variety of weapons in games like Dark Souls, but make that equipment list any longer and we'd be looking through it for hours.

Zak has it figured out, obviously. Random tables fix everything. 

Anyone selling weapons has about 1d4 of the weapons below for sale. Roll a d10 for the middle of nowhere, d20 for a normal town, and d50 for the big city. The number you rolled is also how much it costs.

Some weapon rules: For ranged weapons, Short range is the size of a dungeon room, medium range is about the size of a football field, long range is anything you can see (At DM's digression). Some weapons on this list have stat requirements, like "Requires +2 str". Anyone who doesn't have that stat can still use the weapon, but they'll critically fail on a 5 or less.

1. Dung Pie. Anyone touching it must save vs. poison or lose d4 hp per round for d6 rounds
2. Fine Cipachian Throwing Rock. D3. -2 to hit. Short range. You won't get a price like this anywhere else!
3. Sword hilt. D4, -2 to hit. 
4. Cestus: d3. Fist wrapping. -2 vs heavy armour.
5. Sling, d4, short range.
6. Garrote, d6. Can only be used on a surprise attack.Grapples victim, deals d6 damage per round.
7. Staff, d4. Two-handed.
8. Spear, d6.
9. Dagger, d4/d10 on a backstab. 
10. Whip, d4. Dex check to grapple things ten feet away: Enemies, items, etc. Not strong enough to hold much weight. 
11. Blowgun, d4, short range. The darts can be loaded with all sorts of poisons. 
12. Shortsword, d6. 
13. Hand axe. D6, critical damage against all wood/plants. 
14. Throwing daggers. D4/d10, short range, D8 per pack. 
15. Net. Two-handed. On a successful hit, victim makes a strength check or is captured.
16. Light crossbow, d6. Short range.
17. Shortbow. D6 damage. Two-handed. Medium range.
18. Longsword. D8, two-handed.
19. Heavy crossbow, d8. Short range.
20. Black firebombs. D6, d6 fire damage ongoing. d4 per pack.
21. Halberd. D8, two-handed, long weapon can hit enemies from a small distance away.
22. Claw gauntlets. Wolverine claws. D6, can use while taking two move actions.
23. Carim Parrying dagger, d4. Use in your off-hand while wielding another weapon. Against sword-wielding enemies, you can ready an action to Parry: Dex check to sweep aside their attack and do backstab damage.
24. God Hand. Cestus marked with banishment symbols. D6, knocks enemies back a large distance, can be held while wielding other weapons.
25. Spiked shield. D6 damage, +1 AC. 
26. Pike. D8, two-handed, can hit anyone at short bow range, but can't hit anyone that's right up in your grill.
27. Longbow. D8 damage. Two-handed. Long range. Can't use and move.
28. Ninja stars. D4/d10, medium range, d8 per pack.
29. Boomerang. D6, medium range, returns after use.
30. Consecrated mace. D6/d10 vs unholy creatures. Stops the dead from rising again.
31. Server. D4/ d10, restores HP per damage inflicted. Curved dagger used in a mysterious ancient rite.
32. Hook dagger. D4/d10, +5 to climb checks.
33. Lance, D8. Two-handed. D12 when on horseback. 
34. Pole-vault polearm. D8, two-handed, can be used to jump large distances.
35. Ash tree staff. D6, +1 int modifier while wielding.
36. Spiked whip. D4. Dex check to grapple things ten feet away, anything grappled takes d6 damage per turn.
37. Dragon's tooth. You've picked up a dragons tooth by the pointy end and decided to hit people with it. D10, two-handed, knocks enemies prone, fall prone yourself if the attack misses.
38. Jagged Ghost dagger: d4/d10. Stolen from the dead, can be used against specters. 
39. Laughing Katana: d10, every hit deals critical damage, damage yourself normally on a miss. 
40. Halleluiah plunging dagger: d4/d10, critical damage when attacking from above.
41. Lloyd's Talisman: Symbol of Allfather Lloyd, prevents all healing on anyone it's thrown at.
42. Horizon Longbow. D4/d12 at long range. Long range, takes a turn to notch arrow before attack.
43. Snatcher's Trident. D10, two handed. Can use a turn to enact the complicated Snatcher War Dance with it, which boosts nearby allies damage dice up a notch (d4 to d6, etc) for d8 rounds.
44. Great Battleaxe, d12. two-handed. Requires +2 str. Must always go last in initiative. 
45. Pardoner's stealth crossbow, d6. Short range. Hooked onto your arm, can be concealed by long sleeves. A button on the side pops it out for use.
46. Chimera tail whip: d4, save vs. poison. Giant scorpion tail of the Chimera coiled up as a whip.
47. Carim Dual-wield crossbows, d6, short range. Can attack with both crossbows in one round, as long as you make no move action. Requires +2 dex.
48. Kelian Knockout gloves. No damage, knocks unarmoured opponents unconcious. 
49. Psychic garrot. On a successful surprise attack, grapples and steals one spell/memory per turn. Requires +2 int.
50. Cursed Greatsword of Artorias. D20 damage, two-handed, curses all who wield it (halves HP).