Showing posts with label Session report. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Session report. Show all posts

The Paper Trail


So much history here. Here's a few particular points of interest:

Only Gilgamesh is fit to rule, mongrels!

Party A, traveling through the Babylon district, was sucked into the monthly lottery which determines the fate of all who live there. You become a slave, a noble, a brick wall, all based on your result in the lottery. I decided to have them all roll d20's to see how good or bad their fates would be.

Three people rolled a natural twenty.

One of them was Shenks, a gremlin played by Matt Rundle. He became mayor of the district, and built this tower.



He lived pretty high until the party B lead a peasant rebellion against him, burnt down the tower and installed one of their own as mayor: Gilgamesh.

Another lottery winner became the leader of Cell Apeiron, a bunch of revolutionaries which conspire against the lord regent from this hidden base. Matt fled here to languish in the sewers as the Under-mayor.



From here, party A sent out shadowy assassins, who succeeded in destroying Gilgamesh by hurling him into a black lake to be torn apart by the tentacled horrors within.*

Magic = Haywire

While the party was travelling through here to kill the Lake Dragon, I rolled an encounter. The result - the magic in this part of the district is strange, twisted - spells will have crazy, exaggerated effects. A wizard decided to try a LotFP summon spell. He rolled a natural twenty.

To those who haven't seen the lotfp summon spell, this is game-breaking. You have to roll on another sub-table, and each result could have apocalyptic consequences. The one we rolled: The DM becomes a PC, and a random PC is chosen to DM.

We went with it, and it was a blast. We rotated through three DM's for a few weeks, each one adding their own shit to my world. I loved it.

Dwarf Invasion: Added by one of my DM's. According to them, Vornheim used to be a dwarven city, and ancient tunnels still lead up into the home of every man, woman and child. The dwarves lurk there, watching the city, preparing for their chance to take back what's theirs. 

Glove Towers: Born to a fallen house in the Ghost District, the lady of the glove goes around pretending to be offended by people so she can challenge them to a duel. By defeating numerous nobles, she is slowly increasing the size of her land.

Trail of Destruction: Some giant demon is moving through the city, leaving this trail behind it. As you get closer the sunlight dims, a black rain begins to fall, and the streets are deserted except for ragged warbands of clerics rushing back and forth trying to evacuate the survivors.

Beware of Worms: A big portion of the elf district has been walled off after the prisoners in the tower were released along with a shitload of death worms. Perhaps they've constructed their own worm-prisoner society behind the barricades - who knows? None who go there return.

---Do not cross this line if you are a player.---

Eshgriel (who has four levels in fighter): Too funny to pass unremarked. Party B got hold of a massive haul of purple lotus power as they were escaping the prison. "You know that this powder may give you the powers of a god... or destroy you utterly." Of course, they decided to snort it immediately. 

The first person to snort it died. Prison guards started hammering on the door. A second person snorted it, and died. A death worm started coming up the corridor, the guards were breaking through. Everyone egged on a third person, who snorted it... and died.

So, later, they're the house of Eshgriel the medusa. Half of them are turned to stone, one's poisoned, the Plasma Ghoul is gnawing on another and all the dogs are dead except one - a Busking Dog. As a last-ditch effort, they hurl the powder at Eshgriel - who gains four levels in fighter.

Despairing, the last PC and Busking Dog try for a suicide pact, and snort the last bit of Purple Lotus powder. The Busking dog gets one result: Wants to move overseas to marry. He flips out the door, en-route to a tropical beach.

*This is a lie. In reality, the dead man was a homeless hobbit, dressed up to look like Gilgamesh.

"The world will never be safe as long as we're alive."

The ruler of Vornheim is a frost giant queen, trapped high above the city in-between the two hands of Vorn - the twin towers of the Palace Massive and the Eminent Cathedral. She looks down over the city she rules from within the clutches of the two towers that twist around her.

The party called down Vorn to stop this queen and her invading army, but once she was trapped they backflipped and made her the ruler of Vornheim. At that point, zombies were invading, the city was ravaged, and they decided the entire universe was irretrievably fucked. The only solution was to go back in time.

All of the world's problems were caused by the party themselves. To fix the world's problems, all they had to do was kill their very first quest-giver. If old man Crithens hadn't told them about that secret treasure, they wouldn't have become adventurers, and they wouldn't have gone on to ravage the world. Old Man Crithens was the lynchpin of all the world's woes.

With help from their Benefactors, they managed to go back and kill Crithens easily. The betaverse party stayed peacefully in their peasant village. A new timeline - the Betaverse - was split off. Everything was fine.  No zombies, no invading elves, no ravaged Vornheim. There was just one fatal flaw: They were still alive.


  • Matt Groves
    • Matt Groves
      karnopticon rewards favour to those who spread disease, right
    • i'm just thinking
    • no-one wants me to unleash the flesh plague onto vornheim
    • i think i might do it secretly anyway
    • for karnopticon
  • Jack McNamee

    Jack McNamee
    • do hooo hooo hoo!
    • that's kind of a rising intruiged whimsical laugh
  • Matt Groves

    Matt Groves
    • i mean, i dont want to piss everyone off, so can i do this secretly
      and does this mean that everyone in vornheim dies

  • Jack McNameeJack McNamee
    • It would become a demon city.
    • You can do this secretly
  • Jack McNamee
    Jack McNamee
    • actually, you might need to chat with odermagroth (The skin king, lord of the Flesh Plague)  himself
    • cut a deal for your diety
  • Matt Groves

    Matt Groves
    • first of all, flounder and I enter into the meditative prayer of karnopticon.
  • Jack McNamee
    Jack McNamee
    • flounder circles around you in the entwined dance of karnopticon prayer
  • Jack McNamee

    Jack McNamee
    • you contact the blight queen
    • your mind is above a massive, ravaging swarm
    • that is currently unaware of you
  • Matt Groves

    Matt Groves
    • in the gutteral vocabulary of the insect language, i say to her
    • "mother"

  • Jack McNamee

    Jack McNamee
    • Up it comes!
  • Matt Groves
    Matt Groves
    • "i kill everyone"
    • "for you"
    • "you feast on everyone"
    • "when i am done"
  • Jack McNamee

    Jack McNamee
    • The swarm splits away, moments from consuming you
    • and just seethes over and around you
  • Matt Groves

    Matt Groves
    • "i am your drone"
    • "you are my queen"
  • Jack McNamee

    Jack McNamee
    • Every bug in the swarm lets out a tiny sound
    • PLEASURE


      AND THEN...

  • Matt Groves

    Sunday
    Matt Groves
    • i invoke odermagroth using the lesser name that vick discovered
    • in demonic i say
    • "khkhkhkhkhkhkhsjsjda, I respectfully seek your consul"
  • Jack McNamee

    Sunday
    Jack McNamee
    • Several insects twitch and swarm together
  • Jack McNamee

    Sunday
    Jack McNamee
    • the insects smush together and start bubbling and a long stringy thing starts dripping out
    • the weird little conjoined mess starts humming around
    • brushing over the walls and floor
    • reaches the sealed portal, smooches over it
    • smooches near flounder, and a spark strikes out
    • they jerk back
    • finally they swing around to hover at face height, near you.
    • The long string of flesh droops out to form a dripping mouth, with sunken eye-sockets
    • "To what...Hnnguhh... do I owe the pleasure?"

    • Dealing ensues

  • Jack McNamee

    Sunday
    Jack McNamee
    • "Alright, hnguh, a third of the souls, and I'll throw in the rulers and clergy. All except the Popess."
  • Matt Groves

    Sunday
    Matt Groves
    • "That is acceptable."


  • Jack McNamee
    Sunday
    Jack McNamee
    • Excellent, excellent

  • Matt Groves
    Sunday
    Matt Groves
    • "but for only a third of the souls, my queen will demand the city."


  • Jack McNamee
    Sunday
    Jack McNamee
    • Surely you jest!
  • Matt Groves

    Sunday
    Matt Groves
    • "and she must be allowed to feast on the bodies of the fallen."


  • Jack McNamee
    Sunday
    Jack McNamee
    • I cannot spare a single body!


      Dealing ends.

  • Jack McNamee

    Sunday
    Jack McNamee
    • 1. The drone of karnopticon, Sebastian True Name, will bring the city under control of the flesh plague
    • 2. Karnopticon will recieve 1 third of all souls consumed by the plague, including the nobles and rulers
  • Jack McNamee

    Sunday
    Jack McNamee
    • 3. The Skin King will have these districts, and Karnopticon will have the others. Any being under the jurisdiction of Karnopticon will be instantly struck dead and consumed if it crosses the boundary, and the same for the followers of the Skin King. Neutral parties will be allowed to pass freely
  • Jack McNamee

    Sunday
    Jack McNamee
    • Conditions 2 and 3 only come into affect if condition 1 is met.
  • Jack McNamee
    Sunday
    Jack McNamee
    • If any party breaks these rules, his soul will be forfiet to the other party.
    • 4. Followers of Karnopticon will be exempt from the plague.
  • Jack McNamee

    Sunday
    Jack McNamee
    • 5. Karnopticon may consume the dead, all except for the skin, which must remain pure and unbroken.
  • Jack McNamee

    Sunday
    Jack McNamee
    • 6. The Skin King and karnopticon's servants may both use the farmland, provided that they do not molest each other.
  • Matt Groves

    Sunday
    Matt Groves
    • okay, this is agreed.
    • blood oath etc etc.
  • Jack McNamee

    Sunday
    Jack McNamee
    • IT IS DONE
  • Matt Groves
    Sunday
    Matt Groves
    • too easy.




  • Sunday
    Jack McNameeJack McNamee
    • You are the man of the match, and the biggest bastard in the game.

  • Sunday
    Matt GrovesMatt Groves
    • they'll probably knight me.

  • Sunday
    Jack McNameeJack McNamee
    • Yup

  • Sunday
    Matt GrovesMatt Groves
    • Kl'qi, the little drone who conquered the south

  • Sunday
    Jack McNameeJack McNamee
    • You got a good price for your soul.
    • Good night.

Session report



  • Matt Groves we have a walking obsidian holodeck castle and a wicked hellspawn devil dog tied up. we are about to find out that a giant holographic brain carrying my seed has kidnapped my girlfriend.

  • Jack McNamee Serves you right for having two girlfriends, and then leaving them alone together.
    33 minutes ago ·